My First Interview…Let’s Rant #25 — A MGTOW Interview

I just finished a recording where I cover some of the topics that I thought needed some additional coverage in an audio post and that I either felt I didn’t address properly or I missed/didn’t think to mention during this interview

I had to do some meditation on this interview after the fact, and once I post up My Thoughts on The Ranthony Interview, you’ll notice that I mention asking. That asking is me asking a question putting it out to the universe and getting the answer that I got. When I do this, or when anyone does this I always keep in mind that the answer I get is the answer I get. I’ll admit that in many cases the answer I get back via this meditation process isn’t always pleasant. In many cases, it’s like having to take yet another Red Pill. The information gained from such a process has always been enlightening about the issue or me in some form or another.

This is what I came up with

Angry MGTOW

Angry MGTOW

Straight up Angry MGTOW’s content never really appealed to me. That’s not to mean that I disliked or hated the guy, what I mean is that for me personally his content just wasn’t where I’m at in my life. Not only that his presentation and voice made it really hard for me to sit and watch his videos for more than a few minutes.

And then there’s his actual content

Seriously? Blaire White and ShoeOnHead Feminists? That must either be intentional click bait, or Angry MGTOW isn’t in touch with reality. What I also noticed is that anyone, and I do mean anyone that needed proof that all MGTOW were unhinged, Angry MGTOW was the go-to guy. Occasionally you’d see someone try and twist Sandman’s content around, usually that required cherry picking to make it happen.

I was asked what I was going to do about Angry MGTOW. And what was I going to do about Angry MGTOW? After my meditation, I came up with the answer of, Nothing!

Now that may sound unsatisfactory to the critics of MGTOW, allow me to explain. First of all, I’m responsible for myself and my own actions. I don’t subscribe to him, watch him or endorse him in any way. He occasionally, and do mean occasionally comes up with a compelling point, you have to sift through a lot of content to find it. I Haven’t got the time or inclination to do that. So in my case, my conscience is quite clear

Second MGTOW isn’t an organization like The Borg

Borg

MGTOW is a collection of men going along on an individual path. Yes, there are factions inside MGTOW, and some are insane some are quite sane. Beyond the principal of anti gynocentrism and a marriage strike there are few things that all MGTOW will agree on. Therefore it’s impractical and almost impossible for me or any other MGTOW on YouTube to do anything beyond saying that they limit their association with Angry MGTOW. Here’s the ultimate crux of the problem even if Angry MGTOW were to go away (Die, Stop making videos, Quit, Disappear, etc. )  There would simply be another guy like Angry MGTOW that would step into his place. So whether you like him or not he’s here! And there is a faction inside MGTOW that his rhetoric appeals to. I personally don’t associate with him, and that’s really all anyone can do.

What can be done? The MGTOW that have been through the Red Pill Rage and come out the other side. There’s a need for us to be there to help the increasing number of men that are taking the Red Pill themselves and help them through the Purple Pill phase as best we can. Some will get stuck in the Red Pill Rage, and there’s very little I or anyone else can do if a man decides to stay there. Setting this up and encouraging this will require fortitude, there are entirely too many men out there that feel that any kind of emotional expression will make him a crybaby and will treat any other man around them that does so in a harsh manner. None the less I think this needs to be done.

The Comparison to Feminism

Answering this one was pretty easy for me.

It got pointed out to me that the structure of MGTOW is very similar to the structure of Feminism. In structure MGTOW, and Feminism looks the same. The answer here is in actions, A herd of Antelope and a herd of Elephants are both herds. These mammals though are two separate species they may both socialize in herds, but they act differently. This is where the argument that MGTOW is like Feminism falls apart. Yes, a herd is a herd, but herds of different animals act and behave differently despite the fact they both herd together. MGTOW actions have in very few even come close to the actions of what Feminists have done. The extreme factions are always mentioned, the extreme though isn’t the norm, unlike Feminism the extreme factions are not the ones dictating the herd.

I will admit that this comparison has caused me to re-evaluate feminism. It’s become even more clear to me now that Feminism not only won’t clean up its house, but they can’t. For them to do so would require a conscious, consistent long-term effort. It would also require the majority of feminism to actively support or jump on board with such an effort for it to work. Given the current situation that feminism is in at the moment, such an effort is very unlikely. What’s more like, and when I mean more I mean 99% likely to happen. Is that feminism will have to self-destruct and then need to rebuild itself from the ashes. By that time the whole concept of the role of women in society and what’s going on with them will probably be very different from what it is now.

This also serves as a warning to MGTOW and also to the MRM! We as a group cannot allow ourselves to fall into the same trap that feminism is now in. It’s critical that manosphere be about healing and rebuilding of men and not about revenge. It’s also clear from this interview that like Feminism both MGTOW and The MRM will likely also reach a period of redundancy in the west, assuming, of course, humanity doesn’t destroy itself.

Wasps and Bees also have a similar structure, and everyone agrees they’re not the same species, same situation here.

Blue Pill Alphas

If you go into the comments section of the Ranthony video, you’ll find a prime example of blue pill alpha. These are men that are doing well according to the selections that they’re aware. These men would be considered winners by societies standards today. They’ve played the game, played it well and in some rare cases are even thriving.

I reblogged this from The Rational Male, and it explains these guys better than I can here. Suffice to say though in the case of the guy I was dealing with he had a major dependence on external versus internal validation.

https://theredpillnation.wordpress.com/2016/11/15/blue-pill-alphas-the-rational-male/

I’d have to say at this point in time, these men are as big a threat, if not bigger than anything Feminism can throw at MGTOW at the moment. I did another blog recently about how Feminism is clearly starting to hit the ditch. They simply don’t have the resources either financially or culturally at this time to go into a full-on assault against MGTOW. Blue Pill Males and in particular Blue Pill Alphas do though. There is a basis for them doing so too. Imagine you’ve spent most of your life playing the game, fighting to get to the top of the heap, only to discover that not only was it not the top, but there were MGTOW able to ascend those heights that someone like Mr. Blue Pill Male could only dream of WITHOUT the brutal struggle. That’s not to say that the voyage for MGTOW is easy, the end of the process though delivers freedom that no Blue Piller, Not even a President, Prime Minister or King can have. This invalidates their whole struggle, this also explains why MGTOW have a tendency to want to hide their faces. Our process and struggle is very frightening to a blue pill alpha. Someone like the one I dealt with has to insult someone like me because it’s only in invalidating my effort that he can maintain his effort.

This anger and fear will grow as MGTOW continues to get larger and the effects start to have a real effect on the system as a whole. Specifically, in inoculating men against Gynocentrism these men will be compelled to do more than laughing at us and insulting us, THAT will be when the real fight begins. These men have a vested interest in keeping things the way they are, MGTOW are once they’ve completed the Red Pill Rage above and beyond that model.

This is where staying under the radar helps. At some point, there will be a face or two put on MGTOW until then though remaining a faceless mist is the best approach to people like this. That doesn’t mean I’m going to lie down and allow some ignorant fuck to step on my toes. I’ve worked hard to get past my personal red pill rage but also to self-actualize and self-validate.

Until then no Blue Pill asshole will tell me what I do with my life.

So in review, I’d say this interview was passable, Sandman does a much better job selling MGTOW than I can. I wasn’t seeking to convert anyone that’s not my style, my style is telling people what MGTOW has done for me. That’s really all that I can do

 

Advertisements

My feminist views have been questioned recently.

You don’t encounter honesty like this very often, especially on Tumblr. I haven’t gone through her entire content, so take what she says with a grain of salt. What I can say though is that I’m starting to see more of this crop up in the last few months. Her point here is very clear Women as a group do need to do some growing up.  There are exceptions of course but as a group absolutely

Naturally, there are exceptions this article isn’t about the exceptions.

Purple Pills EVERYWHERE!

In case you haven’t noticed there’s been an upsurge in popularity in all of the various factions of the Manosphere. If you haven’t seen this, you really need to start paying attention and man (or woman for that matter)

This like almost everything else I’ve encountered in life is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, we have a growing awareness of the situation that is taking place. The Left in its current form is entirely toxic. Men are getting shafted in marriage, relationships or nearly everywhere else. And Feminists, Fundamentalist Muslims and SJW’s simply cannot live and live, much like organizations like the Moral Majority used to do.

People can see this, the establishment specifically the on the left has decided in its wisdom that they know better what’s better for us. Not allowing us as individuals to make their own choices. This is what people call the red pill moment that moment when they see what’s going on around them and awaken to the reality of the situation around them.

This is the scene from the Matrix where Neo first takes the Red Pill

If you’ve seen this movie, you know that Neo doesn’t become fully awake right away. He had to recuperate medically be introduced to the Matrix slowly before he was shown what the reality of the Matrix truly was,. It was only when he learned the real truth via Morpheus teaching him via the construct, that the process of freeing himself from it and becoming empowered could begin in any real serious way

There’s a space of time in the movie between where Neo gets free from the Matrix and where he’s shown the truth of it. That phase is what many of us would like to call the Purple Pill.

But what is the Purple Pill? Well first you have to be aware of what the Red Pill is

This is a basic definition of the Red Pill, and many within the Red Pill community have taken many different meanings depending on who they are. Some of these are good some are not.

Purple Pill is that transition between Blue Pill (Asleep) and the Red Pill (Awake). This transition in the Matrix takes time. Some people are ‘blessed’ with taking a full hit right away. Although it’s not something, they’d consider a blessing at the time.

In my case, my Purple pill transition happened over a couple of decades. Starting with Loreena Bobbit, Noam Chomsky, and an Introduction the Sterling Institute of Relationship.

https://www.sterling-institute.com/

It ended when Atheism Plus decided that they needed to turn the entire Atheist community into a giant social justice warrior machine. They were only partially successful in doing this, mostly because Atheists are generally a group of independent-minded and strongly opinionated people who for some odd reason had the nerve to demand that Feminists bring actual facts to the table rather than just accepting what they were told. myers

When a person is in transition that person may not and might not want to absorb or listen to all the Red Pill concepts. So what you’ll run into this crowd is people that for instance or wholly on board when it comes to Gamergate, but will start screaming at you like a fanatical SJW if you criticize Black Lives Matter. Or they’ll run a men’s rights page or group on Facebook but will get their panties in a knot if you post something anti-feminist.

I’ve personally run into both of these, but I also ran into this lovely example brought to you by Feminism LOL

I’d like to say that what Diana has encountered is the exception rather than the rule. That would be a lie, though, I recently did a search on YouTube using the terms “No Longer a Feminist” or “I’m an Antifeminist, ” and the search yielded some fascinating results

Most of these videos were done in the last 18-24 months. We have the usual suspects on here Karen Straughn, and Julie Borowski for instance, have put out enough content that pretty much everyone except perhaps hardcore angry MGTOW would dismiss them. Others though like Kisara Vera, for example, leave you questioning their motives especially after you’ve seen Kisara Vera’s video on MGTOW for instance.

I understand that Kisara Vera may have some good points, but honestly, I’m not very keen on listening to someone who is this ignorant about MGTOW as she was in this video. Luckily for all involved Turd Flinging Monkey made a rebuttal video

We need to keep in mind two different things here when it comes to Purple Pillers. The first being this that not everyone that’s signing on board and claiming to be Red Pill, MRA, MGTOW, Gamergate, Anti-SJW is whom they appear to be. Some of them have very self-serving motives, in fact, everyone myself included needs to be vetted very carefully.

The other is this these Purple Pillers are like that new guy that just started at the workplace. He might be quite enthusiastic, and gun ho about his new job/status but isn’t aware of the lay of the land, the politics and in the case of the Red Pill the personal responsibility that comes from taking the Red Pill. And not all of them are going to become fully awake and aware, some of them are going to go running back.

The thing to remember here is that these people are like children in some ways, they really, honestly don’t know yet. And much like that new guy on the job site we need to have a little patience and understanding, especially when they join sites on Facebook for instance then start tone policing, virtue signaling or even worse. I ran into such a guy at one group on Facebook where this one Black Man apparently didn’t want to hear about how racist the Huffington Post had become and decided to start screaming at me, rather than providing facts to back up what he was saying.

I’ve been running into a lot of this lately, and I’ve been hearing from other people complaining about this as well. This is a consequence of a group or subculture becoming larger. Yes, we get the growth, fame, and influence that come with greater numbers. We also get more dissenting opinions from those not fully aware. For those that are feeling the frustration well up from having to explain basic concepts inside groups that were previously free of this. Understand that these people are not at the same level of awareness that you are. In time they’ll either come around or leave but take it with a grain of salt. When I started this I got ripped into for posting up an article that wasn’t quite right either. It was explained to me why it was this way and I got what they were saying. In doing so they opened the door to MGTOW.

We’re here to show the others that come after us what this Red Pill means, it’s not up to me, you or anyone to decide what that means for them personally. Maybe you will get a Cypher but you’ll free a lot of others on the way.

Valentines Day gets a Day,But MGTOW gets a Week!

After having been out of action via my new job this came through on my feed!

https://www.facebook.com/events/1710114259235858/#

Now personally I think this is a good idea! The reasons that each man is going to make around this are their own. Mine are pretty simple. MGTOW need to have some kind of commonality beyond just boycotting marriage. I tossed out the idea of having a convention last year and it was crushed underfoot like a bothersome bedbug. This though is different any man, anywhere and any time can do this. For one week each year, MGTOW can quietly announce to other MGTOW around them that they’re here.

For me, this isn’t about telling women to fuck off and die. I for one like sex a little too much to do that. This opinion isn’t shared by others though and I can respect that each man’s road through MGTOW is different. And I will not define that road for anyone other than myself.

Now for the others that are not MGTOW that will most likely start posting about “This MGTOW is misogynistic, or they’re angry, or unreasonable” My response is this. If you have an issue with what a certain MGTOW does or says bring it up with that particular man. Nobody speaks for MGTOW as a whole myself especially.

But coming up in 2017 let’s take this week and celebrate our freedom in a quiet and dignified way. Find something and wear it proudly.

Tell me and everyone here what you have gained from your choice. Sandman doesn’t have to be the only one promoting MGTOW. What have you gained from your choice? Tell me in the comments.

And remember I’m all for boycotting Valentines Day too. This is our fucking week let’s take it. Don’t ask permission, fuck societies approval! You’re MGTOW you’re free and liberated you have the choice now. That’s a huge step up from simply just following your biological drives.

 

Join this cause and ask yourself what you can do to support it, no convention, no marches. Just one man making a quiet statement

Jian Ghomeshi you were a pet!

Well now! Congratulations Jian on getting out of the charges laid against you. I can imagine that all the unwarranted hate and vitriol sent your way were hard to take. I mean, after all, it’s obvious to anyone with half a brain what happened to you. Three women got together and planned with what appears to be malice to destroy you and your career. And you know what for all intents and purposes they have!

Got to ask this Jian. How did all that pandering and ass-kissing work for you?

Not well? That’s not a surprise Jian after all if you’d pulled your head out of your ass, and bothered to fact check on some of those feminists you interviewed on your show you probably wouldn’t have been so inclined to softball them you fucking idiot

SOMEONE must’ve warned you about them, Jian. What the hell were you thinking when you got the message. Did you laugh it off, or maybe in your case you just arrogantly dismissed it as the rambling of a CIS White Male afraid of losing his privilege? Or maybe you’re so stupid as to think your lifestyle wasn’t going to catch up with you? Karma catches up to everyone Jian! And I know you know what that is because if I’m not wrong it’s originally an Indian concept?

Many people in the manosphere had to tolerate your pandering attitude towards the Feminists you had on your show. You know what you are Jian, do you really honestly know what they call men like you in the community? You’re what’s known as a MANGINA

Here’s the definition for you

A Mangina is a self-depreciating man who subconsciously hates himself and blindly believes women are superior to him. He has been raised to think masculinity is inherently wrong – perhaps even a genetic/evolutionary/social flaw – and must be corrected by embracing his “feminine side” to the point of losing the very qualities that make him male. He believes women are beautiful, innocent angels and men are filthy animals who need to be controlled.

Manginas see women as the ultimate being and place them on a pedestal, focusing only on sex or the satisfaction of women all the while not giving a damn about his fellow man. Chivalry and being illogical are two traits of being a mangina.

Manginas support women’s issues which are against his fellow men. Someone who espouses feminism but is really being suckered into a form of chivalry in which women’s interests take precedence over men’s. Unaware that they are merely “useful idiots”, doing what women want in the vain/hope of getting laid. When his usefulness is over she tosses him out with the rest of the rubbish.

Manginas are betrayers and enemies of men

Man·gi·na
-noun-
1. A women-firster.
2. A pussy-worshipper.
3. A male who behaves or acts toward men in an overly aggressive way once feminist Maxims are questioned.
4. One who believes violence against women is more wide spread than violence against men.

Dude, did you hear that John is helping Mary get custody of her children from her ex? He knows she’s the worst mother on the planet but he’s still going to help her.

Yea dude, I heard. John is SUCH a mangina! He’ll do anything to look good in front of women.

You know what Manginas are to Feminists there Jian? They’re PETS!
 
Yeah dude, that’s you, a pet something to be stroked, soothed and maybe given some affection but as soon as it becomes difficult it’s put to sleep or thrown away for something newer and shinier. You got tossed from the house the moment you became unfashionable
 
Sucks to be you right now man, really it does! But you want to know what though I have not a whit of sympathy for you! Legally you did nothing wrong, morally you’re one of the most despicable people I know and it wouldn’t bother me at all if I ever heard your name ever again in broadcasting. You MIGHT’VE been able to get some help from the MRM but you were such an arrogant prick that you pissed off the very people that might’ve been able to help you out. Much like they did with Gregory Allan Elliot. And you know what I’m not the only one that feels this way. 
 
 
That’s Karen Straughn and John the Other! Both of them could have you sit on a bag of dicks for they care. 
Yeah, dude, you’re screwed they killed your career and if they have their way will be trying very soon to make sure that even defending yourself is going against the law if certain people have it their way.  That’s now going to be your legacy now!
 
 
 

White Knights Brutally Murder Man Arguing With Girlfriend

I had an event happen right in front of me around the same time that this event was going on. There was this drug fuelled woman running after some guy screaming, yelling and pushing him the whole way. It finally boiled over when she charged at him at a busy intersection, and he reacted and pushed back.

Almost immediately three guys came jumping over a veranda and charged at the man and had I not been there the man in question would’ve gotten his ass kicked. Luckily I was able to intervene and bring the police over and explain what happened. The fact that one of the cops that responded had also handled a couple of my captures of shoplifters in the past helped a lot too.

This could’ve become truly ugly and all too often the over reaction of white knights makes the situation worse instead of better. There’s a reason police officers NEVER go into a domestic situation by themselves

http://sheddingoftheego.com/2016/03/04/white-knight-brutally-murders-man-arguing-with-girlfriend/

But just in case, this blog by Barbarossa isn’t convincing enough consider this video

You’ll note that even though there was one guy in this video who clearly SAW the woman hitting the man for well over 30 seconds that he sat there and watched. But When the guy started standing up for himself he was right there.

Not at all that unusual, I found the second example in only a few seconds. Again note the complete lack of anyone from the outside intervening or calling for help.

All too often nobody interferes at all. But what do you do if you find yourself in a situation like this?

Oddly enough a man’s reaction isn’t all that different from a woman’s you just have to do it for longer because well people are just too fucking thick sometimes.

First of all make noise, make A LOT of noise make sure that people all around can hear you. You may get some crybaby responses but well any individual that ignorant is not deserving of any respect. Second that noise has to be loud and clear that the female is beating up on you, not the other way around. You will start to get some stares, but if it goes on long enough, someone will figure it out. Third keep moving away from the woman and move away in a direction that will prevent you from being cornered.Once cornered you will have fewer options and hitting back will then have to come into play whether you like it or not.

If you can make a beeline for a taxi or public space, bars and nightclubs are likely your best bet. The doormen at these places might have experience with aggressive women in the past. You may even luck out and catch a female that knows all the ins and outs. Avoid hitting back unless you have no option. Which means you feel that you’re in danger of getting injured or killed AKA there is a threat to your person

If she pulls a weapon run if you can, but the moment that they are used all bets are off (With me at least) they’re going down and not getting up again soon; I don’t care what gender they are.

Don’t let popular culture fool you; you do still have the right to defend yourself that no hitting a woman under any circumstance is being abused much like everything else in regards to men in the culture right now.

As for this couple if you go to Barbarossa’s blog you’ll note about how we all know couples like this. The ones that fight and the screw with equal intensity. There are more than a few books that have recommended not getting involved with a woman like this. So if you have enough smarts to over ride your tingly parts don’t. MGTOW is also a viable option as well after all it’s hard to get into a situation like this unfortunate guy if you’re not in a relationship to begin with

SK Series 1/29/16 Learning my lesson!

Relief!

That’s all I can say about the events. This whole soap opera began two Wednesdays ago when I caught myself doing something I hadn’t done in a few years. I was on my way to a coffee shop specifically to see SK! So I had a crush, and I was actively pursuing.

Not unexpected I’ve read and heard several MGTOW talk about how after they became MGTOW and got completely comfortable and OK with that fact that women just started appearing out of the blue. Even though there were in some cases better looking, more qualified men around. Or even in SK’s case, she was already seeing someone else!

It’s not like women have some built in loyalty to their boyfriends either. I have personal experience with this and being the other guy does suck. That fact all by itself should’ve been enough to end any continued association right there. I didn’t end it right there; I kept going to this coffee shop. After all, I had been going to this place long before she was ever working there and I’ve been going there for before for reasons that had nothing at all to do with her. My refusal to live in a box and go so far as some men have done and reduce my interactions with women to nearly zero wasn’t an option for me. While I respect the fact that it might be OK with you, keep in mind that everyone’s life is different.

I had to process this situation and come to a solution. I also had to let people around me know what was going on and get feedback.

The first question that came up was “Is she interested in you?”

Good question because if this had all just been in my head, then I could’ve just decided not to feed that wolf any longer and resume my normal routine. Simply stop feeding the wolf so to speak.TGcEPQr

There were more than a few opportunities to use my old PUA skills to determine if there was interest. I was hoping that this was all in my head. All I can say is that after a couple of days of testing the IOI’s were legitimate and that this was the real deal.

OK, so now I had to move on to the next question. Which was, do I follow up and actively pursue SK or not? The answer to this was blatantly obvious of course not! But not because of some slavish devotion to the principle of MGTOW. I’m a firm believer in the concept and choice for a man to become MGTOW and for that same man to leave MGTOW if he chooses to. I’m also keenly aware of the risks involved in a choice to leave MGTOW. A man choosing not to be MGTOW any longer isn’t any less of a person. But of such a man just blindly goes running back in without taking the lessons he’s learned from his time as MGTOW then that man is truly a fool.

einstein

In my case, it was an easy choice to make. I’m spread out pretty thin right now, adding a relationship with a woman that’s already seeing another guy right now isn’t a good idea. That got brought home to me in a big way yesterday when I went back to this coffee shop. Ironically enough I went there in the morning because I knew that SK doesn’t work the day shift, and she wasn’t going to be there. Except this time she was there! I’ve done blogs, personal work and all other sorts of various activities with her in the shop in the past. This time, though I couldn’t focus on what I needed to do.

Luckily for me, there’s a regular AA meeting house two blocks from this coffee shop. So I just said, “Fuck this shit, I’m going to a meeting to deal with this.” Got to the meeting, shared got it off my chest felt a whole lot lighter. And took the lesson of the need to be more inclusive in my life with me, then went to have lunch.

It was while I was eating my lunch that I had the epiphany! Walking away was a solution to the problem of SK, but it wasn’t going to be a permanent solution! It was just more of me kicking the can down the road, which was why I needed to do such an extensive inventory in the first place. So not going back to that coffee shop is a temporary solution to a permanent problem. And I had to also call myself out the fact that I went to that particular coffee shop. There are Seven other places like this one within two blocks of this location. I could’ve gone to them got done what I wanted to get done and then moved on with the rest of my day. In short, I had to own up to my personal actions, and I also had to admit that unless I applied a more permanent solution to this problem, I would repeat it over and over again. I then found it somewhat Ironic that an Athiest would ram his middle finger straight up in the air and scream out “Fuck You!”

It felt a little better after I did that.This is the whole Karmic lessons issue dropped on my lap. I need to learn the lesson that I have an obligation to myself. I’m at a critical point in my life, and SK will not provide any solution to this issue at this time. My feelings about SK were making my life unmanageable

SK will not provide any solution to this issue at this time. I was pretty upset about this because I’m sick and tired of playing this song and dance now. I didn’t enjoy it in my twenties or thirties, and I hate it even more now. I had to do something different this time! But I wasn’t sure what that different thing was going to be.  Not going into the coffee shop wasn’t the permanent solution going in there was also out of the question as well. It was likely only a matter of time before I did something stupid and desperate. Leaving for a while and then coming back would also not be a solution because the feelings would still be there. And this whole issue was taking up space in my head and distracting me from some much more pressing issues in my life.

So I went to another meeting, the topic of that 12 step meeting was step one.

I applied the principles I learned there to the problem while I was still at the meeting.

Step 1- I’m powerless over this issue, and it’s making my life unmanageable.

Step 2- Am I willing to let a higher power restore me to sanity over SK? The big question when it comes to an atheist. What I did here was pop the question “What do I do to restore sanity to this?”

Step 3- Was I willing to let the universe provide me with an answer if I was open to it.

Step 4- Quick inventory what caused the problem, what was my problem in it? What had I done wrong AND what had I done right.

Step 5- Admitted that this was an issue to myself, to the universe and another human being. Which I did during the meeting when I shared on this topic again.

And the solution was to leave the coffee shop for a period until things settle down and stabilize in my life. But not just that I had to clear the air with SK before I made it official. So I headed down there again, hoping that she wasn’t going to be there, but she was.

I pulled her aside first chance I got and said this to her

“I have to leave this place for a while? I like you a lot, but I have to work on myself right now.”

I then turned around and walked out of the coffee shop!

Now was this all in my head? No, it wasn’t

Did I hurt her feelings? Don’t know but I’ll find out

What’s going to be her reaction? I don’t know that either

Does it even matter? No, I lose one coffee shop for a few weeks while I sort things out.

There won’t be any more nonchalant pretending anymore when we see each other again, and we will see each other again. I pass that shop three or four times a day sometimes a bus stop is right in front of the coffee shop too.

What it comes down to though is this. I can’t make the wheels of government move any faster. I can do some things to make my film career move faster, but there’s a factor of luck that plays into it. There was something I could do about this issue, and I did it. It’s only been eleven hours since it happened, so I don’t know what the consequences are, but I’ll live with them.

I didn’t repeat the same mistake over again. I didn’t lie or cheat like Sisko had to in this video, but I can live with this with a clear conscience